RAW FACTS ARE REAL FICTION

SYNOPSIS

A 30.000 word partial recall of the life experiences of a 71 year old, north-east born, ex sign salesman, who was brought up in a working class area of London, but then spent the majority of his hard working life in the near Cotswold town of Banbury, Oxfordshire.

I find to remember my early years in detail difficult, until I start to write it into a story. This is an account of a part my life that was not always quite “the norm”.

Aunty Gertie was the first born of Grandma Martha and Qranddad Richard Squires. One tête à tête with her led to a narrative that both moves and disports the present generation of relatives by its heart-racking and libertine discourse.

Sunday morning is the time to browse holiday magazines, one of the subsequent trips led to a round of golf with a Hollywood star, at Carmel Golf Club.

Since the British afternoon tea party changed its name and became, ‘The Barbie’, all decorum has gone out of the window. My wife and I were invited to one such an occasion. We were introduced to a few amazing characters, not at all formally, only because we were there and so were they.

There are various types of disc jockeys: Radio, who are more of a chat show host that play popular tunes of the day, true D.J’s that play clubs and festivals, experts in mixing beats, and party time D.J's, expert in keeping the dance floor bopping at weddings, barmitsvas and even the odd funeral.

Having spent considerable time in various N.H.S establishments, at times, I was amused and annoyed at the antics of a few fellow patients. This led to some painful, but bazar situations.

I write this book in the hope that my wife Theresa will become a Celeb and then I will have it critiqued on the Revue show on B.B.C television. (What do they say about sarcasm?)