The Misanthrope's Manual

Several hundred of the world's most vicious definitions, the most vitriolic in the 102 years since the last edition of THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY published by Ambrose Bierce, updated for a more modern 21st century readership.

Samples:

Doom, n- The infinitely patient beneficiary of all human endeavor.
Success, n- Material gain without material witnesses.
Harmless, adj- Dead.

What you're about to hold in your hands are 120 of the most hilariously misanthropic pages written in over a century. Don't say you weren't forewarned.