Candor: How to have courageous coaching conversations when it really matters

Why is it that we—as bright, articulate, and caring human beings—have such difficulty holding effective conversations regarding important issues? Do you, like many people, vacillate between avoiding emotionally charged issues and going into attack mode in order to win and dominate discussions and debates? Are you tired of coaching communication models that seem to rely on disguised manipulation instead of clear and candid dialogue? Courageous Coaching Conversations is a leadership fable that uses a unique approach—making you the center of the story—to present key steps in preparing for and successfully navigating through the
challenging and important communications we all face.

Whether you are a leader or an individual contributor in your organization, there will undoubtedly be many times where you will find yourself in a difficult situation. These situations come in all shapes and sizes, and typically involve people with different goals, opinions, and interests, in varying kinds of work relationships— boss-to-subordinate, peer-to-peer, or even subordinate-to-boss. These situations impact results and the performance level of the
person, team, or organization, as well as the emotions of the people involved. The inability of people to effectively connect in these situations leads to an overall dissatisfaction in relationships, team culture, performance, and results. To avoid these pitfalls, people
need the skills to have a courageous coaching conversation. You know that you are in need of a courageous coaching conversation when you encounter the following situations:

• You need to get beyond the surface level of the situation and
understand the heart of the matter.
• Your messages are not being received or are misunderstood
by the other person or persons involved.
• Your ideas are met with continuous resistance.
• People are not following through on assignments and
commitments.
• Controversial and uncomfortable situations are not being
addressed.
• Problems remain unresolved.

Research reveals that there are some very predictable traps that we fall into when discussing challenging issues or topics with others. This innate reaction is tied to the fight-or-flight response. Regardless of who we are, these very predictable patterns emerge
during important, complex, and sensistive conversations. Understanding what these patterns are and how to craft more productive conversations is the goal of this book.

The concepts underlying courageous conversations aren’t abstract, and they aren’t theoretical. They’re really, really simple. The beauty of this framework is its simplicity. Put yourself in
Adrian’s shoes and go on a journey of discovery that will guide you toward developing your own courageous coaching conversations. Walk with Adrian and discover how the Courageous Coaching Conversations Model will help you:

• Focus on the issue or problem rather than the personality of
the person.
• Be direct, honest, and open, but not overbearing, when
communicating with others.
• Learn how to foster conditions that will enable people to
act with high levels of candor, respect, and responsibility as
they engage in difficult, complex issues.

Mastering the art of Courageous Coaching Conversations will not necessarily make difficult conversations more comfortable, but it will make them more effective.