The Non-Political but Politically Incorrect Obama Relief Joke Book:Definition of electile dysfunction within

A lifetime humorist, Paul Friday, at the age of 73 has finally published his collection of laughable experiences and classic jokes remembered. The jokes are both classic often philosophical. "There is not much to see in a small town, but you more than make up for it by what you hear." "This economy is so bad it is worse than a divorce. I have 1/2 of every thing and still have my wife." "If you believe females are the weaker sex, try pulling the covers back to your side." "To find out who your best friend is, lock your wife and dog in the trunk of your car and just see which one is glad to see you when you open it." "A guy comes home drunk, trying to be quiet he takes his shoes off at the foot of the stairs. In that process he falls and breaks the pint in his back pocket. He goes to the hall mirror where he uses up a box of bandages. The following morning his wife mentions that he came home drunk last night. When he asks her how she knows, she responds, it could be the usual reasons, but them, it could be the bandages on the mirror." One alien in a spaceship says to his partner, "Last month they lobotomized pumpkins and now this month, they are shoving bread up a turkey's ass." One space alien to another,"Best I can figure, they constantly wage war to try to determine who's religion has the most peace." Why does the Easter Bunny hide eggs? I think, because he has been screwing chickens. If you have a better suggestion, please let me know, my email is address is peach@qtm.net. What does the health club and McDonald's have in common? In both cases the folks that are found there, are the ones who need it the least. At the club, almost everyone was far more fit than most when they came in. At McDonald's. in my opinion, you don't even see the epitome of the "out of shape and overweight," because the very worst go to the drive up window.The actual true stories are home spun and delightful. When Paul was paying his good looking house keeper, he jokingly asked if for just a little more money, would she do her work topless? She quickly responded, sure as long as you are not around. He shares his light side, one of a kind experiences talking to lots of interesting people. They range from the septic tank pumper that had a problem with little old ladies asking him to spray the load on their rose to an Air Force One Pilot and Mohammed Ali. The septic guy avoided much conversation with his clients by simply flicking condoms floating past the top opening on the tank with a small stick and saying, "These damn things are always a problem, they plug up my screens." He said that there always was a reliable supply, maybe from that house and maybe from a pump two years before.The conclusion of this one of a kind collection of great stories and jokes, characterizes the author. Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?" The Princess said, "No!” And the Prince lived happily ever after, chased women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to naked bars and drank a lot, sailed the world over and never heard bitching, had total privacy, and ate shit on a shingle and beans and farted at will and everyone just loved him and left the toilet seat up. And that my humor seeking friends, brings us to “The End.”