Farmer Brown, the Universe, and a Cat Named Dog: a science fiction epic poem

Farmer Brown, the Universe, and a Cat Named Dog

"That god damn Muse! Now I know what I wish I did not know!" ~ j.hues

This is, unfortunately, a true tale. That's why we made it funny. Hope He don't get pissed!

CANTO ONE

ONE

Bob Southey once was Poet Laureate!
This fact in no way serves Brown’s story, yet
We love this rhyme above the drafted others!
Our Muse invaded both our dreams one night
And said, “This tale I wish for you to write!”
“Why us?” we asked. “Because,” He said, “you’re brothers.”
So these fine words we are inspired to write,
In hopes a reader (such as you) just might
Peruse a page, and tender then another—
Until we’ve snared him with our plot, you see.

TWO

Two hundred stanzas: one of which is done.
The rest I promise will be just as fun,
For in this grand adventure fun’s innate!
Don’t go to thinking this will be lost time:
A lengthy poem full of songy rhymes;
For there is so much more we must create!
This is the miracle of Farmer Brown,
The universe and Dog his cat! Sit down!
Yes, gather ‘round, and read aloud, and rate
Yourself the Truth unveiled of His great story!

THREE

The strange events that lead to Farmer Brown
Are from your minds erased! They can’t be found!
The memories of all our peers are gone;
And with the loss the mystery and torment!
A year of all your lives is gone like rent;
Mowed from your brains like grass from a shorn lawn;
Yes, blown from your minds like a faded ember.
Of all mankind, yes, we alone remember;
And flex these memories like beefy brawn;
And marvel at the scope of His true story!

FOUR

Our tale starts with some whales and cars in orbit;
And, naturally, mankind could not ignore it,
Or well explain why they were way up there!
For days—I know! it’s hard to now imagine!—
Strange things invaded this our little planet;
But nothing rivaling things in the air!
As weird as things were—this was sure the worst!
The theists shrieked, “Lo! we are finally cursed!”
While faintly the empiricists declared,
"These things but fail familiarity.”

FIVE

You, reader, too were stunned by all of this...
You think you thought it the apocalypse?
That Mankind had reached his climactic curse!
And maybe automobiles in the sky
Is God declaring: “Kiss your asses bye!”
Some folks fast filled their local church’s purse;
While others built and loaded bunkers full;
Some even struggled to a trigger pull;
While others damned our lovely universe;
And nihilists shrugged, “What will be will be...”

SIX

And Jay and I? We did not really care:
Too self-absorbed are we to note the air.
And maybe that’s why we still recollect
All these events now scraped from your raped minds.
Yes, maybe that is what God sought to find:
The deep indifference of two fool rejects:
Of would-be heroes, save the lack of deeds:
Yes, in this garden Earth, we were the weeds
God picked. Though, note, we did not free elect
To be rewarded with this history!

______________________________

d.hues is a thinly sketched persona of the Cartesian Demon. His character has a wife, kids, and a company job. He is an undeveloped stereotype who does not matter. What matters only are your feelings about the ideas explored under this nom de plume.

j.hues is a masterfully developed persona of the Cartesian Demon. His character has a wife, a child, and his own business. He is a meaningful and original masterpiece. Those who come to know him are better for the exchange, and the ripple effects are exponential.