Pook's Tours: You too can love dangerously

Eager to improve his chances with the ladies, Pook takes the celebrated Beau Nash course: How to Attract Women Without Moving. Then, to try out his new power over the fair sex, he and Honners sail on a package-tour cruise aboard the Pagan Princess, bound for the torrid Mediterranean and Brochureland romance.

There is no shortage of sun-deck goddesses on the ship, but the highlight of the voyage is a shore-excursion to a North African city which is in the throes of a political coup. Pook becomes involved to the extent of having bed-and-breakfast in the King’s Harem of his majesty’s summer palace, where one has merely to wake the King’s favourite to ring the bell for room service and instant death.

“This is our finest houri,” Pook declares as he unveils her.

How he joins the Imperial Eunuch Guard before escaping to Italy has to be read to be believed, but Pook fans will not be disappointed by the hilarious climax to yet another thrilling tale of low adventure.