How to Talk to a Difficult, Narcissistic, or Toxic Parent: (Without Being Pulled Into Their Drama) (Transcend Mediocrity Book 75)

If you have downloaded this book, it is likely that you are struggling to cope with a parent who is difficult. I have dealt with my share of difficult people, as well as the difficult people who my readers often seek my advice on. I hope that the knowledge that we have collected over the past 4 decades will help you with the difficult person in your life, and will hopefully encourage the difficult relationship towards some sort of sanity and peace.
Difficult parents and difficult people are everywhere. I estimate that there are far more than 30% of the population who have personality disorders and mental illness. Those who are actively seeking treatment are counted on the statistics by NIMH (the National Institute of Mental Health), but the numbers seem low in my personal opinion. Many of us know a large number of people who have mental illness problems or personality trait issues who were never diagnosed.
The truth is that many people with narcissistic personality disorder, OCPD, schizoid disorder, avoidant personality disorder, anti-social personality disorder, psychopathy, conduct disorder, intermittent explosive disorder, battered woman syndrome, paranoid personality disorder, bipolar disorder and many others don’t seek any type of diagnosis or treatment throughout their lives. This is particularly true with males and females who are negative perfectionists suffering from OCPD – rigidness, arrogance and inflexibility. We often label people as being difficult, eccentric and a myriad of other names, but we don’t consider that they have a personality disorder underlying their terrible and unacceptable behaviors towards others.
Many of us come from families full of people who are exhibiting the various symptoms of personality disorders. Whether or not your family member has a ‘label’ for their condition, they have learned, acquired or grown up with a dysfunctional way of relating to other people. They may have learned that the only way to be safe and happy in their environment is to control other people using covert and overt methods.
There are many different types of difficult parents. Parents who are narcissistic can cycle between valuing and devaluing the people in their lives. They feel unhappy in their own life, so they seek to cause damage and destruction in the lives of other people. Some narcissists do this to get attention, while others do this to gain admiration from others. If they can cause fighting and chaos in everyone else around them, they will inevitably look good coming out on top every time.

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