The Proper Technique To Torturing Your Dying Cat

Take joy in the death of your cat. She's heading to a horrible place. Her destination is pre-determined. However, the journey has not been. The choice is yours on whether to follow my instructions. You may have valid reasons on why parting with her is difficult.

However, all cats die and go to hell, with or without our help. Don’t you want your memory to be of one who stood strong and laughed in the face of adversity? Those who abuse their cats are risen to the highest status in society. Those who refrain are cowards and will have to live with that fact for their rest of their lives.

Don't be a coward. Beat your cat.

A disclaimer: This how-to guide consists of dark fiction humor. It is meant for entertaining purposes only. No cats were killed during the writing of this book that I know of.