Croak

Amazon Exclusive: So You Want To Reap Some Souls: A Grim's Checklist

by Mort Bartleby, Mayor of Croak

Think you've got what it takes to be a Grim? Well, you, my friend, are delusional. But for the moment, let's pretend that you're remotely qualified to join the ranks of the Grimsphere. Before you set out on your first shift you must take stock of your supplies, as there are a few things no Killer or Culler can reap without:

Scythe

Made out of rock, gem, or mineral, each handheld scythe is tailored specifically to the Grim who wields it. The Swiss Army Knife of the Grimsphere, your scythe will allow you to gain access to the ether, instantly travel across the country, and breach the space-time continuum faster than you can say "space-time continuum."

Standard issue black hoodie

Lightweight, durable, thermoregulated, and stylish, the black hoodie is the Grim's uniform of choice. Not only is it comfortable, but its pockets can hold dozens of souls. Plus, it makes a statement. (That statement is: I kill people.)

Vessels

You're going to need something to put all those souls in. (You didn't think you'd just shove them into your hoodie pocket like loose change, did you? What is this, amateur hour?) Vessels are the best tools for the job--small white orbs spun from the fibers of a black widow spider; they're strong enough to protect souls from the harshest conditions.

Cuff

A metal band worn around the wrist that is used to communicate with other Grims. No touch screen, no ringtones, no apps. Just cold hard iron.

Your partner

Reaping souls is a two-person job. The Killer releases the soul from the dead body, and the Culler collects that soul and places it into a Vessel. You partner is the person you will be with for ten hours a day, seven days a week. You will get to know them better than anyone you've ever met. You will be able to finish each other's sentences. You will know what the other person is thinking before they think it. But you will not fall in love with them. No matter how dreamy their eyes may be.

And above all, a strong stomach

I'll not mince words. As a Grim, you will see decapitations. Disembowlings. Amputations. Explosions. Cancer. Drownings. Fires. Car wrecks. Poison. Stabbings. And more blood than you've ever thought possible.

So. You in?