Whining: 3 Steps to Stop It Before the Tears and Tantrums Start

There are few things on the planet that can drive an adult crazy as fast as a ceaselessly whining child--we are often reduced to tantrums ourselves by this incessant complaining. If we were just better parents, our kids wouldn't have to act this way to get our attention, right? Not exactly. Whining happens because, often, it works. Whining also happens at any age and in many forms, and can be a very destructive behavior pattern if allowed to continue into adulthood. In this extremely useful and practical little book (you can read it in a couple of sittings), the authors explain how whining functions for both the child and parent and how the latter can deal with it. The recommended techniques are based on the work of pioneering psychiatrist Alfred Adler, and are gentle and respectful to both parent and child but also firm in setting limits for acceptable behavior. Authors Audrey Ricker and Carolyn Crowder teach parents how to dive beneath the admittedly choppy surface of whining by communicating assertively and then to change things from underneath the maelstrom. Numerous "real-life" examples are offered, as well as corresponding methods of response, but the scripts wisely shy away from a simplistic "one-size-fits-all" solution. The notebook at the back of the book will help families keep track of exactly what is going on and assist in reducing whining so that everyone in the family interacts more peacefully and productively. --Katherine Ferguson