The Complete Office Golf

Driven by a less nimble wit or by an aficionado less fluent in the mysteries of the Royal and Ancient Game, The Complete Office Golf might have whiffed on the tees, but David Owen's cleverness and golfing jones conspire to extend and keep on course what is essentially a single joke. He begins with a premise that all golfers understand: the only reason to work is to earn the cash needed to support your golfing habit. And there's the conundrum; since most people have to work at exactly the best golfing hours, and since when they're not working courses tend to be the most crowded, they need to find a way to bring their game to the office with them. But how? Owens supplies a fully illustrated, often hilarious instruction manual.

Played on carpets, in conference rooms, around water coolers, behind potted plants, from sand-filled ashtrays, and between desks, Office Golf is a challenging enterprise. Consider, for instance, the problems presented by various floor coverings; from hardwood and linoleum to level-loop pile carpet and saxony plush, Owens offers tips for how to master them. Balls? If you forgot your wound balata and don't have a whiffle or Ping-Pong ball handy, Owens instructs you on how to properly engineer one by crushing a sheet of paper. He teaches you how to design a proper course--Office Golf even supplies the holes--and sneak your clubs in without the boss noticing, codifies rules and etiquette, and even addresses the "Inner Game." "Office Golfers often set unreasonably high expectations for themselves," he cautions. "When they fail to meet those expectations, they feel disappointed, perhaps even suicidal. This is foolish." Office Golf may be foolish too, but it will keep you smiling, which certainly shatters par for most nine-to-five enslavements. --Jeff Silverman