Beyond Sibling Rivalry: How To Help Your Children Become Cooperative, Caring and Compassionate

Yes, your children can have better relationships than you and your siblings did, says author Peter Goldenthal. In Beyond Sibling Rivalry, Goldenthal, a practicing psychologist specializing in sibling and family relationships, provides thoughtful and informative theory and practice for easing this challenging element of family life. In many ways, Beyond Sibling Rivalry is a general positive-parenting text that teaches parents to learn their child's needs by paying attention to the child. Yet, for specific examples and issues, Goldenthal focuses on sibling relationships. In 12 chapters, the book moves from predictable and preventable conflicts (preparing a child for a sibling's arrival, conflicts about sharing, and knowing when to intervene) to rivalry's more challenging issues (such as recognizing it in all its forms and compensating for the challenges that ADHD brings into the home).

Goldenthal bases his approach largely on famed psychiatrist Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy's contextual theory--an approach that considers the entire family as the context for the sibling relationship and focuses on issues of fairness and justice to help resolve them. Goldenthal stresses the parental role in creating and encouraging sibling rivalry, encourages readers to examine their own sibling relationships, and teaches them how to stop encouraging competition between children by acknowledging individual talents and skills without comparison. Beyond Sibling Rivalry is a hopeful and proactive book. Goldenthal believes the ultimate cure for sibling rivalry is self-esteem and generosity, and the final chapters focus on facilitating empathy and altruism in your kids. --Ericka Lutz