Healing the Hole in A Heart: One Birthmother's Journey into the Adoption Triangle

HEALING THE HOLE IN A HEART. One Birthmother's Journey Into the Adoption Triangle 1998 by Nancy Mac Isaac, JD is written to help others find their way through the reunion mine field. Learn how to shift from the mania and exuberance of first contact to a love-filled friendship developed over time. HEALING THE HOLE is a guide to surviving reunion, making adjustments, and building relationships. It helps the reader to face their fears and find friendship. If you or anyone you know is touched by adoption, then this book is just what the doctor ordered. HEALING chronicles how a "childless" high-achiever, Nancy, managed the impacts of reunion on her once normal, professional, and personal life. A life that was irreparably altered by a letter. HEALING THE HOLE offers the reader a series of techniques, exercises, and resources demonstrating the ADJUSTMENTS needed to become a RECOVERED BIRTHPARENT--a fact demonstrated by Nancy finally summoning up the courage to search for and find her daughter's birthfather. It can be a template to follow for those who wish to grow a friendship based in mutual respect and trust.

EXCERPT
January 23, 1989
Dear Journal,
I looked out over a carpet of dark-haired Cubans filling the reception area at Miami International Airport. One blonde fuzzy-haired head stood taller than all the rest. We both wore new perms for the occasion. Her hair is longer than mine, but the genetics are obvious. Her eyes were wide, expectant, delft blue, searching and doubtful.

Something darted through her mind, I could see it on her face, then our eyes met and held. Our reciprocal smiles were automatic; the light in her eyes was almost blinding. Her smile started in the region of her heart and just expanded from there. She beamed. With more than fifty feet to go before I could hold her, I noticed that Janet had not come alone.

I finished the journey of 3000 miles and floated into Janet's arms as she did into mine. She felt so good. Holding her for real was amazing; simply magical.

Journal, HOW do I describe this feeling; a coming home, a completeness? Tears fill my eyes and spill. I never cry. WHAT is this reaction? As I held Janet the world around us was in a haze. I singularly focused on my magnificent daughter while resisting the urge to count her fingers and toes. I'd never seen her as an infant and now we meet when she's twenty-one years old. She is perfect. Journal, what do I do NOW?" --Excerpt: HEALING THE HOLE IN A HEART, Page 64