Lobster salad, by P.B. St. John and E. Copping

This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1855 Excerpt: ...means to drink with boisterous eagerness; and those pigs did indeed drink with such boisterous eagerness, and made so many revolting observations one to another, that I felt so disgusted I haven't been able to touch a piece of pork ever since. As to writing, there I was two thousand years before the Christian era, and I couldn't get a day further. No sooner had the pigs finished than the bullocks began, and then the horses; and when they showed some disposition to be tranquil, one of the farmer's men came and set them off again by talking. That is to say, for about an hour and a half he indulged in a series of ejaculations that for barbaric unintelligibility would have been a disgrace to a Black-foot Indian. Ejaculations such as "Chip," "Metherway," "Metherway," "Come up, Smiler." Now what he wanted Smiler to come up for I have not been able to understand to this day. But at all events Smiler did not seem inclined to use his feet for such a feat, and the uproar went on. Who could write with such sounds as these in his ears? It was impossible to pen a line, so I thought I'd take a quiet walk in the fields in order to compose my mind and to think over my subject, as Goldsmith used to do when writing his history. I had not proceeded many yards before I met two of the boys of the district. They stared at me as though I was a Cherokee or a Yahoo, and then, bursting into an apoplectic laugh, said " Hah, hah, hah! That be a Lunnun gentleman!" as if the mere circumstance of my being what they called a "Lunnun gentleman" was in itself an excellent joke. Of course I could not stand this, and so I went back to the farmhouse again. When I arrived it was about one o'clock. As half the day had passed over, and I...