The Book of Quotations for People Who Hate Quotations

Tired of relentlessly inspirational quotations or aggressively cheerful people? Feel like responding with a torrent of obscenities to the next person who tells you "If you dream it, you can achieve it"?

Authors/trained monkeys Tom Tiding and Christiana Crabill (from snarky greeting card company, Twisted Tidings) take a dull knife to motivational quotes, providing sometimes hilarious, always vulgar takedowns of writers from Socrates to Tony Robbins. The Book of "Quotations" for People Who Hate "Quotations" is unapologetically crass, rude and juvenile. 

"You can't shake hands with a clenched fist"? True, but you can do a fist bump.

"The Book of Quotations for People Who Hate Quotations" is a great gift for people who dislike statements like "this is a great gift for [insert generic group here]!"