The Boy Who Loved Robbie Douglas

On his eighth birthday, the boy decided that he would marry the star of his favorite tv show, or someone like him.  The adults all said that "boys don't get married," but the boy saw pairs of married boys, or Best Men, all the time on tv, in comic books, and in the movies. But why didn't he ever see grown-up Best Men in real life?  And why did the adults pretend that Best Men were just regular buddies?   It took twelve years to find out the answer. On the way, the boy had to face Mean Boys, Vikings, the Lake of Fahr, Men with Beards, the House without Chairs, Swishes, and a haunted Bell Tower.