An Offbeat Indian

This is a work of fiction. The reader may not believe this assertion, but that does not matter to me. As far as I am concerned this story is imagined. If somebody tries to sue me, including close family members, I will try and avoid the situation, unless the police land up at my doorstep with summons to drag me to court. But, I sure will scream my head off. I don’t believe in bribes to fend off the cops or the judiciary. I will certainly try and call the TV people to showcase the high handedness as I don’t like to be disturbed at home much. Not, that I am a very busy man all the time. I could be doing nothing, maybe watching porn on the Net or cricket, though there is an overdose nowadays of the no longer gentleman’s game (West Delhi bred Virat Kohli’s aggressive vocabulary is a hit with the youth) due to commercial reasons. Still, I don’t like my space to be intruded. The locations, events and names mentioned in the story maybe real as they are derived from facts of life, like making love to a woman. But, the characters are unreal with snapshots and vignettes derived from multiple experiences and characters in the journey of life that can be illusory, ecstatic or completely fucked up. Any resemblance to anybody that I know or do not know is incidental, though there will be many who may think it is them that I have written about. They can take pleasure or pain out of their deductions, but I intend to hurt nobody. Also, there are some occasions that I am very sleepy or drunk when I take to writing after a hard day’s work. So, please pardon the foibles, mistakes, abuses and language. Right now, I must be a little sane to ask for forgiveness. I generally prefer not to say sorry, unless a traffic cop threatens to charge me Rs 5000 for speaking on the cell phone while driving, that I do often. I respect the laws of the country, but sometimes I do break them when it suits me though I do draw some dividing lines. Like, I will not kill anybody except perhaps in self-defense. That’s how big game animals, tigers and lions are, unless they are hungry. I sometimes perceive myself no less than a big cat. But, I don’t believe in paying a bribe. So my driving license has been confiscated a few times that I was not carrying enough money to pay the actual fine. This aspect of my character is derived from my father, a government officer, who never accepted any money on the side, though he could have easily. Sometimes, I feel he did wrong. It could have made the life of his children so much more comfortable, like some of my father’s friends (read batch mates) kids. A shade of my father’s personality has, however, gotten imbibed in me for the good or the bad. I don’t wield any kind of power or importance that people may need to pay me to get their work done. So, I have developed my own version of being an honest citizen – I don’t pay any under the table money or across the window of my car to the traffic constable. I actually pay the fine or none at all. I personify middle class morality. My driving license has expired. I intend to go and stand in line for the renewal.