A Kripslod in the Realm: Volume One of The Kripslod's Tale (Volume 1)

Kripslod (from Realmspeak) (1) An implement that is not only useless for the application, but also dangerous to the user. (2) A bigoted, loud, and whiny complainer who causes great trouble for himself and all those around him. What would you do if you were taken from your home on Earth and brought to live on a planet in the farthest reaches of the Galaxy? Would you join a rebel band fighting to topple an oppressive regime? Would you enlist in an interplanetary space expedition and help search the universe for alien civilizations? Would you battle to save the human race from murderous robots? Not if you’re Teodor Korzeniowski. No, he doesn’t have time for things like that. He is much too busy trying to get an extra pillow on a Port Leyken Spaceways’ interstellar economy flight from Boulanger-Four to I Taisto Station. Welcome to the new worlds of Teodor Korzeniowski—formerly of Utica, NY and now a reluctant Citizen of the Realm. Here he will be knocked-over and stepped on by the biggest and toughest space-faring carnivores in our Galaxy. He’ll meet and become the legal mate of a human female medical technician whose ancestors were once curiosities in an interplanetary traveling menagerie. He’ll join his mate in attending the graduation of new officers in the Imperial Majesty’s dreaded Secret Police. Then endanger them both when he becomes the typical ‘ugly American’ and gives his opinions about everything and everyone. Including her Imperial Majesty and her need to lose more than a little weight. In this volume, Teodor and his long-suffering mate will be joined by: Guard Admiral Reinier of the Political Police. (He insists that the condiments on the tables in the officer’s mess be arranged symmetrically at all times.) Teodor’s father-in-law. (He watches etiquette programs on the screens and still has a few choice metaphors for his unemployed son-in-law from Earth.) And the usual assortment of radical terrorists, waiters, psychotic racists, police, muggers, pensioners, medical technicians, politicians, opera singers and pirates. It is never dull when you travel our Galaxy with Teodor Korzeniowski!