Billy's Log: One man's battle with life, lager and the female race.

For Billy Ellis, life is one series of disasters after another. His haemorrhoids have just cost him promotion, his new boss wants to buy the flat next door and he can’t buy a packet of condoms without almost getting arrested. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he’s just read through his 1999 diary and suddenly realised that he’s almost 30, still single and has looks that give new meaning to the word average. So in a lager induced haze, Billy decides that the time has come to change his life forever. And the best way to do that is to find himself a woman. The problem is, he has no idea where to start looking. Because thanks to ‘girl-power’ women haven’t just moved the goal posts, they’ve hidden them! And so begins a nightmarish journey of discovery involving soft porn, lots of lager, PMS and a man with a penis called Bruno. But it’s a journey that is destined to end in success. Eventually! A book for everyone who’s ever been with a woman and wondered what the hell she was on about!