Doom of Weirds: A Tale of the Revaluation of All Values and a Tall One at That

Bebe Wallmart-Mellon is young, intelligent and beautiful. Everyone knows that, thanks to her frequent, if unintentional, appearances on FoozBang, the hottest new social media.
What's less well known is Bebe's devotion to being a Beauteur - one of the elite followers of Lady Aristotle, America's dominant philosopher-queen. Through her world-renowned School of Objective Beauty and millions of rabid followers, Lady Aristotle towers above 21st Century American philosophy. So why has the Goddess of Reason never once agreed to meet Bebe, her most famous of acolytes?
Until the day Bebe is chosen by someone, somewhere, to serve on the New Electoral College.
One of only three to elect a new American president, Bebe's new-found status draws her into a world of intrigue and power. It's there that she meets her dream lover Samson Agonistes: handsome, tall, strong, stupid and easily led - everything a woman needs in a man!
It's then that Bebe is finally summoned  to meet her hero, high above the spires of New York City in her mysterious penthouse.
There her queen demands a great price: Bebe must sacrifice either her nation's soul or her personal happiness to serve the Philosopher of Beauty. Will Bebe brave a nightmare of sadness? Or will she sacrifice all for her country instead? Search me. Better yet, search Doom of Weirds.