Lingering With Diamonds

Two sets of connected humorous short stories. The first set contains four stories featuring Alfred and Squidge. Alfred covets diamonds - other people's and particularly those belonging to Horatio Nokdoff. Squidge is only happy when he's breaking into a safe, something he is expert at. However, they're far from being the cleverest burglars on the planet and things never work out according to plan. And what do frozen chickens have to with anything? The second set is located in the remote, sleepy village of Lingering-in-the-Marsh: a crime-free area, much to the boredom of the young, slightly inept policemen who get stationed there. Unfortunately for them, it's where Fleury Weedy lives and she has ambitions, mostly centred on young men in police uniforms. Does Fleur snare her man? What happens when crime comes to Lingering?