First Timer's Kit: The Safe, Effective Way to Lose Your Virginity

Inside:
 
     •  10 Heroes of Intercourse Cards
     •  Comprehensive Textbook
     •  10 Sexual Position Cards
     •  Diploma (Suitable For Framing)
 
First Timer’s Kit May Cause the Following Side Effects:

Fatigue, numbness in extremities, unexpected lactation, mood swings, fever, ennui, nostalgia, cotton mouth, dropsy, banal dinner conversation, shin splints, nausea, dizziness, ringing in the ears, shortness of breath, dyspepsia, hot flashes, abdominal pain, lingering malaise, nosebleeds, stigmata, mossiness, bossa nova influenced heart palpitations, sluggishness, bad breath, excessive sassiness, vertigo, clammy palms, envy, the heebie jeebies, itchy teeth, ESP, memories you thought long forgotten, sleepiness at small print, phantom pain in your umbilical cord, buyer’s remorse, depression, elation, confusion, consternation, sensitivity to the the light, uncontrollable erections, or superpowers.