Spooge

Whenever one of the medics does something dumb or has something bizarre happen to them, it is always followed by the statement "Oh, ****, there'll be a Schwindism about that on the board tomorrow". After years of cramming a bathroom bulletin board at Morristown Memorial's MICU office with "Schwindisms", a significantly large sheet of signatures appeared under the heading "YES! I would like a copy of 'Schwindisms, volume 1'". It took a while to create a format of presentation that was not just page after page of poems that only those close to the subject matter would understand, but the thread that weaves them together was found at the bottom of a bot-tle of Canadian Mist and "SPOOGE" was born. Spooge is that bodily stuff (not of your body) that gets on you (usually at the shift's beginning) and requires some sort of solvent, lots of water and paper towels or a hazmat bag to get rid of. About the author Dave Schwind has been a New Jersey certified paramedic since 1980. He has worked for Morristown Memorial Hospital since their program began and also works for Saint Clare's Hospital Medic 52. He was a volun-teer EMT with Rockaway Township's Marcella Fire Department and with Blairstown Ambulance Corps and was a chemical technician at Honeywell Corporation for 25 years where he earned 2 U.S. patents. In 1976, he got a Bachelor's Degree in English and Chemistry from Maryville College in Ten-nessee and a Masters Degree in Physiology at Fairleigh Dickinson Universi-ty in 1995. He has a son Trevor and a daughter Casey and currently lives in Randolph, New Jersey.