Mr. McGreevy's Absolute Howlers

Funny, irreverent, and at times just plain silly, this side-splitting collection contains the most earnest and mangled attempts at the English language made by school children. There are hilarious blunders about history, religion, geography, politics, animals, science and medicine, music, and literature, including, "Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes—He was Donkey Hote," "To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow," and "Solomon had 300 wives and 700 cucumbers." R-rated slip-ups like "The Mona Liza was the most beautiful woman to ever be laid on canvas" will leave readers rolling with laughter. As children can also be naively wise, accidentally profound sayings—"Matrimony is a place where souls suffer for a time on account of their sins"—are included among the ridiculous spelling errors, mistaken words, and unintentionally-humorous grammar flops.