How "Not" to Travel South America, The Falklands and "Still Enjoy Yourself"

This story is the "tale and fun" description of a lone 60+ single man's 96 day unplanned travels through every country in South America plus the Falklands travelling 60% by plane, 30% by bus, 10% by boat not speaking no Sponola with the only companion a traveller needs or could wish for; "A Lonely Planet Guide Book".