The Diva Code: Miss Piggy on Life, Love, and the 10,000 Idiotic Things Men Frogs Do

From one of the most famous divas of our time comes The Diva Code: Miss Piggy on Life, Love, and the 10,000 Idiotic Things Men Frogs Do. Over her years of celebritude, Miss Piggy has gleaned, glommed, and garnered much wisdom about what's wrong with everyone else and what's right with her. Now, in the latest book from the Muppets, Miss Piggy is ready to share with vous her best advice on love, fashion, career, attitude, and her secrets of diva-dom! It's time for you to release your inner diva! Get what you deserve! And give others exactly what they deserve!

Take, for example, Miss Piggy's insights on a few of the idiotic things men frogs do...

HE'S JUST NOT READY TO COMMIT--You give him the pleasure of your company (plus untold hours of prep time) and in return he's not willing to commit to anything. Mention a romantic getaway, a steady and exclusive dating policy, a long-term relationship, marriage . . . and he runs for the exit!
WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO: The best defense is a good offense, which means that you must never give up trying to make him commit. Remember: Never stop being offensive.

HE'S STATUS OBSESSED--It's all about the label, the fancy car, the platinum-encrusted watch, the vacation place in Gstaad, and the showy perks.
WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO: Give moi his number.

HE'S A NARCISSIST--This guy can usually be found at the gym defining his triceps, biceps, bicuspids, you name it. And when he's not pumping iron, he's primping in front of the mirror--tweezing, conditioning, moisturizing, and otherwise invading your personal grooming space.
WHAT VOUS NEED TO DO: Ask yourself if he's such a hunk that he's worth it. If so, get more mirrors. If not, dump him . . . but get more mirrors anyway. After all, narcissism isn't a bad thing if it's about vous.