LOVING YOURSELF AND OTHERS - How to forgive and be loved - BEING ASSERTIVE - Loving Affirmations - SELF HELP - Unconditional love

THE AUTHOR: I am a MD psychiatrist.

An example chapter is below.

Chapter Eight – Guilt Can Be a Good Teacher
......Guilt tells you to change your behavior; and when you don't, the guilt becomes chronic. Chronic guilt is a sign of refusing to do what is right. Knowing what is right and not doing it lowers self-esteem and causes unhappiness.
......Chronic guilt is a combination bribe and punishment. Chronic guilt is the price you pay to continue to make the same mistake. As long as you continue to make the same error, you continue to punish yourself with guilt.
......The Christian conscience too often functions with the rationale that "Only those who feel bad are good."
......Whenever you continue to feel guilty you should ask yourself whether the guilt is a chronic bribe or a current teacher, because guilt isn’t long lasting when the lesson being taught is applied. Whenever you feel discomfort, you should ask yourself, "Can I do something specific now to do away with this feeling?" When guilt leads to improved behavior, guilt is useful.
......Instead of holding onto your pain you can hold it up to the light to learn what your pain is teaching you about life, and about yourself. Mere information can become knowledge and even wisdom, when it is applied.

The right fruit of knowledge is action. Sir Francis Bacon

......To put into practice what you are learning from your pain decreases your pain. Neighbor: "Your garbage can is over flowing with beer cans. Did you have a party?" There is no good reason to feel angry or guilty about a garbage can being full of beer cans, unless you plan to continue drinking a lot of beer.
......Tell the truth and the truth shall set you free. Chronic guilt is a combination of punishment and bribe. It is the bribe you pay to think of yourself as a good person despite your continued bad behavior. An example: You may drink a lot of beer; but you feel guilty about it. This guilt is supposedly proof that you are a good person.
......As long as you punish yourself with guilt you feel no one else has the right to punish you. This pre-emptive punishment hopes to escape the judgment and punishment of reality. Reality usually takes the form of other people and God. A solution to chronic guilt (punishment) is to make God your ego instead of letting your Ego continue to play god.
......It is unnecessary to feel guilt for any length of time because a specific change in behavior can do away with guilt. Conversely, a refusal to apply the lesson means that guilt stays. Chronic guilt comes from knowing wrong and refusing to act right.
......If you want to be forgiven, you will change your behavior. If not, you'll find an excuse. An example: “Yes but…”

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter One - Accepting Your Whole Self is Loving Yourself
Chapter Two - Self-esteem Aphorisms
Chapter Three – Liking If, But Loving Although
Chapter Four – There Are Two Value Systems: #1-Loving and #2-Liking
Chapter Five - Being Without is Sin
Chapter Six - Ways to be Happy
Chapter Seven – Choosing to be Loved or Hated
Chapter Eight – Guilt Can Be a Good Teacher
Chapter Nine - Corporate Media and Government Destroy Individual Identity by Homogenizing Thoughts and Actions
Chapter Ten – Assertive Rights
Chapter Eleven – The Assertive Person Says “Yes” And “No”
Chapter Twelve - Using Assertive Rights
Chapter Thirteen - Assertiveness: The Promise of a Love-Power Compromise
Chapter Fourteen - Assertive Aphorisms
Chapter Fifteen - Elements of Assertiveness
Chapter Sixteen - Assertive Self Statements
Chapter Seventeen - To Forgive is to Keep on Loving
Chapter Eighteen - The Solvable Problem is the Problem You Accept
Chapter Nineteen - Philosophies that Help Control Anger
Chapter Twenty - Affirmations Toward Happiness