"Affair-Proof" Your Marriage: Understanding, Preventing and Surviving an Affair

This book, originally published as Triangles, asserts that infidelity happens in a full 60 percent of all marriages. Rich with statistics and case studies, it attempts to help readers save their marriages by describing the consequences of other people's affairs. According to Seattle counselor Lana Staheli, most of those who get divorced because of an affair later wish they hadn't--even if they go on to marry the person they were fooling around with. "Rarely do affairs last forever and seldom do they become happy marriages," she writes. "So, sooner or later, regret and pain set in." On the other hand, most of those who confronted the adulterous relationship and resolved to overcome it were able to develop an even stronger marriage within a few years. Of course, the best way to avoid dealing with an affair is to keep it from occurring in the first place--something Staheli believes can be accomplished if each partner provides the other not only with love and sex but also with the sense of self-esteem that comes from supporting them and appreciating them for who they are.