Dynamics of Communication and Sex: Effective Keys to Preventing Relationship Breakdowns. Enjoying the Benefits of Maintaining a Healthy Sex Life in your ... (Improving Your Relationship Series Book 2)

Every couple faces battles in their relationship which stem from them not understanding the greatest need and motivation of the other. We often think that the person ought to just understand us or “get it” after a while. But when they don’t we think they are out to get us, or don’t truly care about us or worse yet seek to purposely offend us. That is where disappointment starts and the hurts begin, the battle line drawn and eventually the disagreements start. Fights don’t usually happen instantly, but are often born out of a slow burn until unpleasant words become more frequent. If you are passive aggressive it will be more of a quiet struggle, but the hurt feelings are just as real, for they are now underground rather than out in the open to properly address.

When a child is whiny at the end of a long day at Disney you know it is because they are tired and have expended their energy. They are on overload and don’t know how to handle it. You can’t reason your child out of their irritable state. They just need sleep. You are patient with them because you understand their needs. We are willing to be patient with our children, but why are we so unwilling to respond to the needs of our spouse with the same kind of patient understanding? The purpose of this book is to help you appreciate the motivation of your mate. When you do understand their motivation you can be more patient with them and seek to work with them more effectively.

Why does she have to talk and give every detail of what went on in the day? Why does he come home and reveal nothing or very little of what went on in his day but instead just wants to sit around and do nothing or go out and play sports or work in the garage? Do you know what motivates a woman to ask all those questions? Do you know her deepest need? Do you know of the loneliness in her soul? Do you know why he doesn’t think it is so important to connect with you by sharing the details of his day?

Why does he seem to have only one thing on his mind? How can we have a disagreement and then after we have sex he thinks everything is all right and settled? Do you understand those deep needs of a man and why he functions like he does? He may not even understand why sex is so important to him either.

This book seeks to help you understand what motivates your mate so you can better understand them and therefore respond in appropriate ways. Also, this may give you insight as to why you are motivated to do what you do. With understanding comes the potential for change as well as the enrichment of your relationship. Without understanding you will continue to do the same old thing and be frustrated in your relationship. Will you choose continual frustration or decide to pursue enrichment?

As you read this book you will find yourself saying “my partner needs to read this because now I understand why I feel or act that way. I just haven’t been able to articulate the importance of my needs clearly before. I want them to understand me better.” The more we understand our own needs and how they fulfill us when they are met, the easier it is to understand the needs of our mate and, therefore, to value them.

The title I’ve chosen for this book is “The Dynamics of Communication and Sex.“ The word Dynamic means “Change producing force: the forces that tend to produce activity and change in any situation or sphere of existence”. The content of this book helps you focus your understanding on the dynamics of sex and communication in your relationship.

After one of my sessions in reworking this manuscript I was taking a trip with my wife and I said, “I wish we had a book like this available when we first got married for it would have given us better understanding of each other and helped us avoid a lot of mistakes.” It is my desire that this book can help you avoid common pitfalls and deepen your relationship. Enjoy the journey!