How To Impress The Pretty People When You Are Not A Pretty People

PUBLISHERS NOTE: This book contains language and imagery of the foul, vile, disgraceful, vulgar and utterly retarded variety. Read at your own discretion...

So the game of life has dealt you a disgracefully bad hand?

You're uglier than prison food, about as interesting as fishing and physically outmatched by the dead.

You probably sit alone, in the dark, listening to simply red albums all night, silently crying as the universe uncaringly pushes forward.

Your dog up and left without even leaving a note didn't it?

YOU MAKE ME SICK!

But all is not lost my friend, for within these humble pages, lay secrets that will allow you...YES YOU!...to overcome the woeful creature you ARE and transform yourself into the incredible being you CAN BE.

The teachings here in will take you by your horrid sweaty hands and guide you up that golden staircase to the hallowed halls walked by those gods incarnate

The pretty people

This revised and updated edition of the 1883 phenomenon is G.U.A.R.A.N.T.E.E.D (note - guarantee may in fact not be guaranteed) to transform you in ways you never even imagined possible.

With the application of some simple to understand and easy to learn tips, tricks and tactics you can bamboozle, discombobulate, bluff and outright lie your way into the ranks of the worlds pretty people.

So put down that bag of Cheetos and pick up this ebook.

It's time to change your terrible life.

This book is intended for a male audience.... specifically a male audience of the hideous and useless variety, if you are a member of such an audience, please would you be so kind as to part with your cash.

Note...Female cash is also welcome....