The Foolish Almanak for Anuthur Year

The Foolish Almanak for Anuthur Year
The Furst Cinc the Introdukshun Ov the Muk-Rake in Magazeen Gardning, and the Speling Reform Ov Owr Langwij
By Theodor Rosyfelt
Thair hay bin uthur Yearz but non like this. Thingz wil Hapn.
313 Dayz wil kum and 313 Dayz wil go and thair wil be 52 Sundayz evn in the best regulayted Familiz. Thair wil be at leest wun 23 for yu in eech munth.
* * * * *
LIFE WITHOUT IT WIL BE UN-SEAZOND
By kind Purmishun ov the Jawn D. Rawkyfelurs the Sun and Moon wil be purmitted 2 Arize and Shine. The Shuberts wil regulayte the Starz, and the Planits wil du the best they kan.
Hetty Green and J. Peerpont Morgun have garanteed the Wethur.
* * * * *
_WITH APOLOGIZ TO THE KARNAGY SPELING SKOOL_
[Illustration: THE FOOLISH ALMANAC 2nd]
PERPETUAL PASS
Issued to: Edw. C. Smith _From_ Worryland _To_ Laughter
(To be used only on The Foolish Almanack 2nd Limited) GOOD TILL DOOMSDAY
_With the Compliments of the Season_ John N. Luce & Co.
[Illustration: SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC UP-TO-DATE]
PURPETRAYTED, WITH THE AID OV WALLACE GOLDSMITH’S PICTURZ, BY
JOHN W. LUCE AND COMPANY
_BOSTON_ 1906 _LONDON_
_Copyright, 1906, by_
JOHN W. LUCE & COMPANY
_Boston, Mass., U. S. A._
_The Plimpton Press Norwood Mass. U. S. A._

CONTENTS
Greeting
HELPFUL HINT FOR JANUARY:
ECLIPSES FOR THE COMING YEAR
JANUARY
UP IN MAINE
FORECAST FOR JANUARY
WEDNESDAY
JANUARY
SEVEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD
TALE OF A TANK
JANUARY
FOR THE HOME COMING
JANUARY
HELPFUL HINT FOR FEBRUARY
TO FIND OUT IF MONEY IS TAINTED
FEBRUARY
HOW TO SKATE
FEBRUARY
HOW TO COMPOSE A SHORT STORY
THURSDAY
FEBRUARY
HELPFUL HINT FOR MARCH
HOW TO HANDLE A MUCK-RAKE
MARCH
ODD FACTS
MARCH
SPRING, GENTLE SPRING
MARCH
THE MEAN THING!
MARCH
“A TAKE OFF”
APRIL
HINTS TO AMATEUR GARDENERS
APRIL
AN APRIL PASTEL
EXTRACT FROM AN OFFICE-BOY’S DAIRY
APRIL
GARDEN AND FARMING HINTS:
APRIL
HELPFUL HINT FOR APRIL
KEEPING LENT
APRIL
FORECAST FOR MAY
MAY
HELPFUL HINT FOR MAY
TIMELY HINTS
MAY
HOW TO GET RICH
MAY
MATERIA MEDICA
MAY
FORECAST FOR JUNE
SIDELIGHTS ON SCIENCE
JUNE
LITTLE STUDIES IN NATURAL HISTORY
WEDNESDAY
JUNE
DECKLE-EDGE FRECKLES
JUNE
RAISING CORN
JUNE
HOW TO PLANT A BEER GARDEN
JULY
HELPFUL HINT FOR JULY
JULY
HINTS ON DRESS
JULY
SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC
JULY
SIGNS OF THE ZODIAC
JULY
AUGUST
USEFUL FARM HINTS
SUNDAY
AUGUST
HELPFUL HINTS FOR AUGUST
A BREAD AND MILK COW
APPROPRIATE SALUTATIONS
AUGUST
HELPFUL HINT FOR SEPTEMBER
IS THE SUN INHABITED?
SUNDAY IT HEADS THE LIST
SEPTEMBER
SIMPLE HOUSEHOLD RECIPES FOR VEGETARIANS
NUT CUTLET
I MITATION POTTED HARE
STEWED RUBBER PLANT
HEALTH HINTS
SEPTEMBER
LITTLE STUDIES IN NATURAL HISTORY
SEPTEMBER
RARE RECIPES
FRIDAY
OCTOBER
YOU NEVER CAN TELL
OCTOBER
HELPFUL HINT FOR OCTOBER
OCTOBER
TO THE GODDESS ON THE DOLLAR
OCTOBER
RECIPE FOR MAKING PUMPKIN PIE
OCTOBER
HELPFUL HINT FOR NOVEMBER
HOW TO GET RID OF THE GYPSY MOTH
NOVEMBER
FAMILY TREES
NOVEMBER
FORECAST FOR NOVEMBER
THURSDAY
NOVEMBER
HOW TO VIEW AN ECLIPSE
NOVEMBER
HELPFUL HINT FOR DECEMBER
DECEMBER
FARMING IN ALASKA
DECEMBER
THE PUBLISHER’S COZY CORNER CHAT
DECEMBER
ADVICE TO PARENTS
MONDAY
DECEMBER
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS
RECENT INVENTIONS
DECEMBER


Greeting
Time was, is, and will be. Almanacks
have come and Almanacks
have gone. But Time has survived.
Only the Foolish Almanack
has been equal to the pleasant
Task of Killing it.
We offer the Book as our Defense.
THE PUBLISHERS.