You Don't Know . . . Jack Schitt: The Private Eye Who Doesn't Take Any Crap

Like the confused, dumber, and less charming offspring of Phillip Marlowe, Jack Schitt is a hardboiled detective—or at least he'd like to think he is

 

Jack Schitt is a man living in the wrong time. Though all signs point to him being firmly rooted in the 21st century—the days of political correctness, up front sexuality, and street-savvy know-it-all kids—you wouldn't know any of this by looking at him. As a small time detective in small town Wisconsin, he plays by his own rules—and those rules are remarkably out of date. But one day he gets a surprise call from an old acquaintance, Mark Snarling—now the super-rich presenter and producer of hit TV talent show You Got What It Takes? Mark wants to give Jack his big break: uncovering a fraud operation in the show. Landing in Hollywood, Jack is a wannabe detective in a town full of wannabe stars, wannabe singers, wannabe TV producers—and, very soon, a real live dead body. As Jack follows the trail he finds himself beaten up, arrested in a rather unfortunate public restroom incident, beaten up, seduced in a video sex-tape production, beaten up, befriended by a wannabe celebrity policeman, and humiliated live in front of 60 million viewers.