Winning WITH Difficult People
Book Details
Author(s)Alessandro Carli
ISBN / ASINB00DSA9B3G
ISBN-13978B00DSA9B36
Sales Rank1,525,085
MarketplaceUnited States 🇺🇸
Description
There's a lot of literature about dealing with difficult people, and what all these books have in common is that they assume that the difficult people are out there, and you (the reader) are the one who is supposed to learn how to tame and manage them. You're the good guy and they're the bad ones, that need correction.
This book has another approach to the issue, a more systemic one, where everybody involved has to do his part to get any communication and relationship going. It doesn't talk about how to deal with or manage difficult as if they were something to fix, but how to WIN with them.
The only difference between the reader and the people he's having problems with is that he eventually becomes aware of the dynamics involved, thus becoming able to lead others into a much more profitable relationship.
This book proposes a method that consists in 5 "moves":
1. Know Thyself - Before you can work on others, you must become aware of the internal forces that are making "you" somehow difficult. You will never manage others if you can't manage yourself first.
2. Satisfy their deeper needs - Fear is at the core of any difficult behavior. In this move, you will be able to identify the basic fear that triggers the difficult behavior in other people, so that you can deal with it, thus enabling you to truly satisfy the needs of others.
3. Work on their cognitive traps - Our mind produces traps that are responsible for most of our failures, conflicts, frustration and nearsightedness. Helping others to see these traps can greatly enhance the relationship.
4. Creating an ethical rapport - No relationship can resist where there is no ethics in the interaction between the people involved. There are 6 principles to be followed in order to bring solid and durable trust in the relationship.
5. Contributing to their success - This last move is by far the most powerful one. No matter how difficult a person can be, if she sees that you are working to help her achieve the success she longs for, all resistance will simply disappear.
Unlike the mechanical approach, where one learns techniques on how to handle other people, this systemic approach is about the reader learning what HE should do to take the relationship to another level. Simply managing people will only get you so far, and for a limited amount of time anyway; but when your focus is on winning WITH other people, the relational dynamics are totally different.
The reason you should take same time to understand how to improve your relationship with difficult people is that very few people bother to do something about it, giving up on extraordinary opportunities. Difficult people are not a problem, but an amazing treasure that only few people are willing to discover.
Would you be one of them?
This book has another approach to the issue, a more systemic one, where everybody involved has to do his part to get any communication and relationship going. It doesn't talk about how to deal with or manage difficult as if they were something to fix, but how to WIN with them.
The only difference between the reader and the people he's having problems with is that he eventually becomes aware of the dynamics involved, thus becoming able to lead others into a much more profitable relationship.
This book proposes a method that consists in 5 "moves":
1. Know Thyself - Before you can work on others, you must become aware of the internal forces that are making "you" somehow difficult. You will never manage others if you can't manage yourself first.
2. Satisfy their deeper needs - Fear is at the core of any difficult behavior. In this move, you will be able to identify the basic fear that triggers the difficult behavior in other people, so that you can deal with it, thus enabling you to truly satisfy the needs of others.
3. Work on their cognitive traps - Our mind produces traps that are responsible for most of our failures, conflicts, frustration and nearsightedness. Helping others to see these traps can greatly enhance the relationship.
4. Creating an ethical rapport - No relationship can resist where there is no ethics in the interaction between the people involved. There are 6 principles to be followed in order to bring solid and durable trust in the relationship.
5. Contributing to their success - This last move is by far the most powerful one. No matter how difficult a person can be, if she sees that you are working to help her achieve the success she longs for, all resistance will simply disappear.
Unlike the mechanical approach, where one learns techniques on how to handle other people, this systemic approach is about the reader learning what HE should do to take the relationship to another level. Simply managing people will only get you so far, and for a limited amount of time anyway; but when your focus is on winning WITH other people, the relational dynamics are totally different.
The reason you should take same time to understand how to improve your relationship with difficult people is that very few people bother to do something about it, giving up on extraordinary opportunities. Difficult people are not a problem, but an amazing treasure that only few people are willing to discover.
Would you be one of them?
