A Difinitive Examination of Assholeology

I began this book as a collection of true short stories, but noticed most of my stories involved assholes I’ve had run-ins with, which spurred the idea that most people don’t know the types of assholes in America. I propose to expose those assholes and give an explanation of where they came from. Let’s face it. If you live on this planet, you will be exposed to assholes. They are everywhere. Unless you are the only person on a deserted island and not an asshole yourself, chances are you will have to deal with at least one asshole. I don’t necessarily have to tell you what an asshole is, because you probably have figured that out all by yourself, even if you are an asshole yourself. What I will do is define types of assholes and give examples. I will also speculate of the possibility of an asshole gene and how to find it on your family tree. I will use fictitious names to protect the asshole’s identities as well as the innocent people exposed to the deeds of assholes.

‘Asshole is what asshole does.’ A quote from an ancient, but unknown author.
‘You don’t need a good memory if you always tell the truth.’ Mark Twain
‘An asshole a day will keep your doctor busy.’
‘An asshole in the bush is better than being near you.’
‘Why did an asshole cross the road? – Who gives a fuck, as long as he is on the other side.’