MARITAL INFIDELITY: Even the Darkest Hour Has Only 60 Minutes!

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EACH CHAPTER IN THIS BOOK RELATES EQUALLY TO MALE AND FEMALE AND IS INTERCHAGEABLE, EVEN THOUGH EXCLUSIVE REFERENCE IS MADE TO THE MALE. IF AN UNFAITHFUL WIFE IS THE DEFENDANT, THEN IT IS QUITE EASY TO MAKE THE ADJUSTMENT IN ADDRESSING THE ISSUE OF “INFIDELITY.”
Chapter One ~ “AFFAIRS: Likened to the Pain of Death:” No one walks into an affair blindly. Seldom does a person awaken and decide to be unfaithful to their spouse that day. Affairs are the tragic ending of a process unchecked over a period of time. Ignoring flashing yellow warning lights moves one close to entering a red-light-danger-zone. When warning signs are ignored, an affair of the mind and heart begins. This ultimately leads to total spiritual, physical, and emotional enmeshment with another person outside marriage.
Chapter Two ~ “WARNING SIGNS OF AN AFFAIR:” Sometimes what you may think is innocent behavior is anything but innocent. Seemingly meaningless acts can be gateways to infidelity or show that the mind really isn’t all that focused on monogamy. This chapter focused on precursory signs of an affair.
Chapter Three ~ “AFFAIRS: In the Past:” Affairs—it happened to Sam and Debra in the political sector. It happens to many others in both public and private sectors. No race, color, ethnicity, or national origin is excluded, just as no socioeconomic class is beyond the tyranny of its tentacles. The mental pictures of what happened were torturing. How could he engage in intimate acts with her? Can I trust him again? Will the pain of betrayal ever go away? Can I forgive? Can I forget? This chapter shows how writing is a powerful tool to help the victim regain focus and perspective.
Chapter Four ~ “SECRETS: To Tell or Not To Tell:” Should the affair remain cloaked and secretive? Or should it be disclosed in excruciating detail? Should the betrayer confess? If so, how much should be told? There is clearly no one solution that works best for every couple. Although honesty is paramount in marriage, the question of whether an unfaithful spouse should reveal a betrayal remains a hot-button issue. There are three perspectives: (1) No Disclosure (2) Partial Disclosure, and (3) Full Disclosure. Guidelines for disclosure and the process of restoration are given in this chapter.
Chapter Five ~ “BUILDING SAFEGUARDS INTO MARRIAGE:” Statistics show that extramarital affairs are a threat to most marriages today. The most responsible thing a couple can do to avoid the potential of affairs is to work through problems that keep recurring in their marriage. This is not always easy, because sometimes it is simpler to “sweep issues under the rug,” thinking maybe they will disappear. They may go underground where they do not have to be discussed, but they do not disappear. Ten Commandments of a Healthy Marriage are presented in this chapter.
Chapter Six ~ “IT’S NOT HOPELESS so DON’T GIVE UP:” Dissolution of marriage is not the simple remedy that advocates of convenient, no-fault divorce advocate. It is proven that couples go on to make the same mistakes in second marriages, and that divorce is more harmful to kids for more years than originally thought. When divorce parties are interviewed years later, they discover that divorce is not just a brief crisis in the lives of those affected. Five and ten years after divorce, many adults still do not have their lives back together and are exper¬iencing anger, humiliation, and rejection. Guidelines are given in this chapter for working on differences in marriage that typically lead to the divorce court.
EPILOGUE ~ “SOMETHING TO CONSIDER:” You discover your spouse cheated on you for many years. They apologized profusely, stopped the affair, and committed to becoming a monogamous partner, devoted exclusively to you. You’ve confirmed the change on many occasions. But, you still question, “Should I start afresh with someone new? Wouldn’t I be better off?”