Breathe

*Underwent Editing 23/10/2014*
But when I want to be thin, that stops me wanting to be dead. The wish to just be skinny replaces the wish to die.
I've always felt like I am too much, there is too much of me. I want too much, I need too much, I talk too loudly and I cry too often and I cling to things and I suffocate people and burden people and I suck the life out of everything I come into contact with because I am a tornado of need and want and desperation and hurt that sucks in everything around me and hurls it around in a torrent of despair.
That's why I always wanted to kill it. Obliterate it. Eradicate it. To destroy it and just make it go away .I don't want to kill it anymore. I don't want to end it. I just want to make it less. Make it lighter. Make it smaller. Lighter. Smaller. Thinner.
People will never understand this.

*Contains adult content, & Potentially triggering material*