Misadventures of a Nine Year Old Nerd: Tabby & The Twin Villians

“This is gonna cost you.” Sidnee glanced down at her nail polish and didn’t even look up as she spoke. Boy, it didn't take me long to remember how much I strongly disliked this girl. I wasn’t chunky, not even a little bit. I was a string bean straight up and down. I know she did NOT just call me fat on the cool! “One glitter lip gloss by tomorrow or your little friend is going to get it for her empty threats.” Sidnee was referring to Ducky who had excitement break dancing in her big brown eyes right about now. “I will only talk to you about what I arranged with the 3rd graders after you bring me my new lip gloss, Is that clear Tabby?” Was she talking to me?!! I know she wasn't talking to me. I looked over both shoulders to see who she was talking to. I wanted to let her have it right then but as soon as the very last syllable trickled from Sidnee’s tongue and rolled off her lips Ducky had beaten me to the punch and blew her top, pouring 2% all on Sidnee’s designer shoes. I looked on in horror and delight shaking my head. My jaw was on the lunch room floor, mouth wide open. I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed. But I couldn't enjoy it long, because just like bringing a knife to a gun fight, we didn’t stand a chance. Ducky and I were out numbered. How was I going to explain this? I had never been in a fight in my life, except with the twins, which duh, I always win because I’m the oldest. I was 100 % sure Sidnee’s shoes were ruined, canvas does suck up milk really well. But honey that smell alone would ruin the pair entirely… the milk would be sour by the end of the day and she would smell like a walking block of cheese by tomorrow. It was clear, she would never wear those shoes again, they were DONE. “I will have your head on a platter for this Ducky Moe Moe!” Sidnee screamed running into the bathroom with her squishy shoes and sticky wet feet.