Magician's First Maxim (The Saber of Certainty Book 1)

While searching the woods for answers to his father's syphilitic death Big Dick Crypter runs into a mysterious, and beautiful, woman who will change his life forever. Karen Ample is on a dangerous mission to find a great and powerful wizard, the only man who can stop the threat rising in the East, but when she is attacked by assassins Big Dick must step in, and forever entwine his fate with hers. With the help of his friends, and a magic sword of course, Dick will take up the fight against the evil political mastermind who threatens the very existence of the status quo. Along the way he will fight monsters and children, learn about the true nature of power, and become a legend.