START-OF-SCHOOL FARTS: RELEASE OF THE BROWN DESTROYER (The Totally Gross Misadventures of Farty Klinghorn Book 1)

LAST DAY FREE MISS OUT? WE CAN'T EXTEND FREE BUT WILL HOLD AT $0.99 TILL JUNE 2 (SAVE $5.00)

EXTRA! WE'LL ALSO HOLD PRICES ON OTHER BOOKS IN THE SERIES AT $0.99 (SAVE $5.00) TILL JUNE 25. GET THEM NOW!!

THE TOTALLY GROSS MISADVENTURES OF FARTY KLINGHORN provides an hilarious account of how an otherwise very ordinary kid learns to control his Farting SuperPowers to overcome his enemies and protect his friends, while leaving an unfortunate trail of wreckage and havoc.

You'll meet:

• the School Nurse at Farty's school, who tries (ha!) to control a Deadly Brown Destroyer Fart by zipping Farty into a rubber mattress cover. After an unscheduled flight, Farty lands in the swimming pool;



• the Krudd twins, bullies who use their (non-SuperPowered) farts to get seats on the School Bus, before Farty punishes them by dropping Green Stinker Fartlets onto the lunch boxes in their bags;



• the School Doctor who thinks Ebola protection gear will save him and his nurse from a Creeping Black Death Megafart, which wrecks his surgery and tears a hole through the ceiling into the Dentist's Rooms above


...and many more.

So...who'll enjoy the book?

Well, as Farty says, if you find it difficult not to laugh or giggle when someone farts when they shouldn't...

- like when someone BRRRRTS loudly just when the School Dork is getting a vomit-making hug from the Mayor's wife as she hands him the Cup for Best Student of the Year. And it's deadly quiet just before the clapping starts... mostly from the nerd's Mom and Dad and family!!)...

- or when the fat lady at your Mom's bridge day is holding in a sneeze, and everyone's waiting for a chance to say "bless you!" and instead of sneezing she lets go of a cup-rattling gas cloud instead...

...and all the bridge cards are blown onto the floor...

...and even the dog won't eat the bridge sandwiches and scones and stuff and your Mom has to bin them...

...and the bridge ladies all decide to go home early....

....after they've all stopped coughing, and their eyes have stopped watering enough for them to find the keys to their cars!

... or when the fat kid who plays the tuba in your school orchestra lets off a rip-snorter of a fart in the dead hush between one tune and the start of the next one!

If you find yourself wanting to giggle – or at least trying to turn a snort into a cough – at moments like these then these books are DEFINITELY for you!

If you DON'T find that stuff funny at all, or if you huff and sniff and say "Gross!" when someone farts as they get onto the bus (just after the doors have closed, so no-one can escape!) then maybe you should curl up with a copy of your last School Report, or an old diet book of your Mom's. Nothing in either of them is likely to be "Gross" or "Disgusting", and there's no danger AT ALL that you'll hurt yourself laughing!

Actually, this book is for kids aged 7 to 11, who agree that sometimes Farting can be Funny!

It's also for:

– kids 11 to 85;

– older brothers and sisters who've been known to laugh when you fart unexpectedly (except perhaps when they're snogging with their girlfriends or boyfriends, and you're hiding behind the sofa they happen to be snogging on at the time! At times like this they've been known not to laugh!!);

– and for Moms and Dads who occasionally find your farts amusing (except when your Dad's Boss and his wife have come to dinner, or you're in a packed car in a thunderstorm so nobody can open the windows! Actually, in the packed car case, it's often difficult to tell the difference between laughing and crying!!);

– and for grandparents (who seem to laugh even louder at Unexpected Farts than other grown-ups - except when it happens to them! (If they even know it's happened to them!)

GET IT NOW!