Paris For Gullible Tourists

Parody - don't buy if you don't understand humor, please! 

Paris - the city of lights and dog shit. 

Where the women don't shave their armpits, but they spend millions on perfume. 

The most visited city in the world. The best city for gullible tourists, then. 

Learn the scams, learn the places to avoid.

Here's an example for the Eiffel Tower: 

Known as the "awful tower" locally.

Locals often go to the top, as that's the only part of Paris where you can't see it.

Long queues.

The exorbitant admission price (designed only for gullible tourists) only gets you to the 2nd floor.

The top is the 3rd floor.

It’s narrower up there, windy, crowded - and costs more to go up.

From the top however, you can see all of Paris, if it’s a clear day (see weather).

For free, by not going up, you can also see Paris. Better and cheaper.

You were wondering how to get to the first floor?

You pay to go up in the elevator to the 2nd floor, then walk down stairs.

Lots of stairs.

Lots.