Sassy has never been so dangerous...

Question:

What do you get when you take a witty housewife with dark secrets and coop her up in a house with a frustratingly demonic dishwasher and a professional killer who just happens to look like The Gladiator?

Answer:

You get a thrilling tour de force of unexpected action peppered throughout with comedic beats and seriously dark undertones that may question the sanity of the protagonist—you’ll just have to decide that for yourself.

And now a word from the main character (a.k.a. the "housewife")...

Umm, did you really just twice refer to me as a housewife, Mr. Blurb? Hmm...I'll deal with you later.

Hi there future fan of mine,

My name is Autumn Winter and while I don't like to repeat myself—for you I will make an exception. About me...well, I'm a recovering pain in the rear. I also happen to be one heck of a spooky ghost—only probably not in the way you're thinking. And no, my parents weren't flower children—Winter is my name by marriage and yes, I realize it's ridiculously over-seasoned. Years ago when Jack (my husband) proposed to me, my initial response was, "How would you like to be surnamed Ass?" My retort sparked a debate on the differences between Jack Ass and Autumn Winter that dragged out for two weeks. Once he caved and finally agreed that the two formed names were like in concept, then—and only then—did I say yes to his proposal.

That probably tells you a little bit about what
you’re up against with me. As we go along, you'll no doubt figure out that I am
what some may view as sassy, what others may interpret as a fun version of
arrogant, and what a chosen few will come to know as dangerous. At my core and
within this beautiful shell is a woman who’s still vulnerable like any other—only
I possess special skills that allow me to assert my intellect and thus even the
playing field. And the playing field—along with the players thereon—sometimes
need kinetic adjustments to make things right in this world. In fact, Jack and
I believe that there are many things in life that need these so-called adjustments,
and we see it as our purpose—our calling even—to do our part in helping said
adjustments along. I suppose that you could say we’re sorta chiropractors of
fate.

And that's about all you'll get out of me for now, but I'll leave you with one last thought: if you think the world is perfect and that people and things don't need adjustment, then you and I probably won't see eye-to-eye. But that's okay, because everyone deserves their opinion—of course, mine is the only one that counts.

No, sincerely...

Autumn (xoxoxo)