All Starships Go to HEAVEn
Book Details
Author(s)Jonathan Eric Miller
ISBN / ASINB01DAWTBSG
ISBN-13978B01DAWTBS9
MarketplaceFrance 🇫🇷
Description
They created us. Now they're having second thoughts.
For eons, the intergalactic non-profit ManKind Incorporated has seeded planets with human life and the ideas for epic science fiction movies. From its outpost in HEAVEn, ManKind watches and waits for planets to broadcast a Signal of Ascension, proving they are ready to embark upon the next stage of human evolution and join ManKind in the stars.
On Earth, San Francisco entrepreneur Adam Arroway launches the beta for VRotica, a virtual reality sex startup that networks together the arousal data of thousands of users. On the ManKind starship Archangel, Captain Michaela Paris initiates first contact and beams Adam aboard. She doesn't even finish her green smoothie before she realizes the truth: the sexual arousal data of thousands of masturbators looks a lot like a Signal of Ascension. A false positive, the first in ManKind history. And yet, across Earth, Trekkies celebrate the arrival of the Archangel, which looks just like the most beloved starship in all of science fiction.
In a desperate bid to maintain power, a shadowy cabal known as the Council of 13 detonates a nuclear weapon and frames the Archangel for the attack. They launch a massive propaganda campaign, spearheaded by RAT News political blowhard Dickens Bushmouth, in order to create the Earth Defense Force, an international military bent on the destruction of all Trekkies.
In response to such fearful, primitive behavior, the ManKind Board of Directors votes to disqualify Earth from the Human Race and fire a new genesis torpedo, replacing our civilization with one that's more polite.
Now, Adam and Captain Paris must race to HEAVEn, aided by a motley crew of ManKind citizens: Commander G8BREL, an ill-tempered cyborg and first officer of the Archangel; Kit Carr, a LowG dodgeball star; the High Priestess Jocelyn of Naia, defending champion of the Human Race; and Neo, the Curator of the Sacred Entertainment Archive and a prodigious stoner.
Together, they must create the one thing that can unite the people of Earth before the genesis torpedo detonates: the greatest viral video in the history of ManKind.
Who are we? Where did we come from? Were those prequels really necessary? For answers to life's greatest questions, beam aboard.
At its best, All Starships Go to HEAVEn is a rollicking satire of science fiction and Silicon Valley, written in celebration of the true final frontier: the human soul. At its worst, it's a derivative, masturbatory stoner fantasy for Trekkie fanboys. It could go either way, really.
For eons, the intergalactic non-profit ManKind Incorporated has seeded planets with human life and the ideas for epic science fiction movies. From its outpost in HEAVEn, ManKind watches and waits for planets to broadcast a Signal of Ascension, proving they are ready to embark upon the next stage of human evolution and join ManKind in the stars.
On Earth, San Francisco entrepreneur Adam Arroway launches the beta for VRotica, a virtual reality sex startup that networks together the arousal data of thousands of users. On the ManKind starship Archangel, Captain Michaela Paris initiates first contact and beams Adam aboard. She doesn't even finish her green smoothie before she realizes the truth: the sexual arousal data of thousands of masturbators looks a lot like a Signal of Ascension. A false positive, the first in ManKind history. And yet, across Earth, Trekkies celebrate the arrival of the Archangel, which looks just like the most beloved starship in all of science fiction.
In a desperate bid to maintain power, a shadowy cabal known as the Council of 13 detonates a nuclear weapon and frames the Archangel for the attack. They launch a massive propaganda campaign, spearheaded by RAT News political blowhard Dickens Bushmouth, in order to create the Earth Defense Force, an international military bent on the destruction of all Trekkies.
In response to such fearful, primitive behavior, the ManKind Board of Directors votes to disqualify Earth from the Human Race and fire a new genesis torpedo, replacing our civilization with one that's more polite.
Now, Adam and Captain Paris must race to HEAVEn, aided by a motley crew of ManKind citizens: Commander G8BREL, an ill-tempered cyborg and first officer of the Archangel; Kit Carr, a LowG dodgeball star; the High Priestess Jocelyn of Naia, defending champion of the Human Race; and Neo, the Curator of the Sacred Entertainment Archive and a prodigious stoner.
Together, they must create the one thing that can unite the people of Earth before the genesis torpedo detonates: the greatest viral video in the history of ManKind.
Who are we? Where did we come from? Were those prequels really necessary? For answers to life's greatest questions, beam aboard.
At its best, All Starships Go to HEAVEn is a rollicking satire of science fiction and Silicon Valley, written in celebration of the true final frontier: the human soul. At its worst, it's a derivative, masturbatory stoner fantasy for Trekkie fanboys. It could go either way, really.
