Such a Nice Guy

Strip an East Coast man in his forties of his marital obligations, transplant him into San Diego, and something funny happens. Enjoy 84 humorous anecdotes about relationships, love, sex, and lifestyles.

Excerpt from Such a Nice Guy - The Walk of Shame

I define this as the walk a woman takes from a man's residence to her car after a night of bumping nasties. Did this originate with the "Bridge of Sighs" in Venice? I sure hope not. After all, it doesn't come with a prison sentence. I find this walk hurtful (sniff) and I demand an apology on behalf of my scorned brothers.
   
Why is the walk shameful?

• If the neighbors see you, they will think you're slutty.
• You're wearing the same clothes from last night (with an assortment of new pulls, wrinkles, and stains).
• Your sobriety has exposed my flaws.

When I leave a girl's house, I take the "walk of pride" because:

• If the neighbors see me, they will think I'm stud-worthy, trustworthy, and responsible for all those funny noises they heard last night (except the sirens, usually).
• My wearing the same clothes makes them more weathered looking, which is fashionable for dudes.
• You're beautiful and my leaving after sunrise proves you're not a vampire.

I will submit a Proposition P to have it renamed the "walk of pride" in the next election. In the meantime, you can park closer, leave before sunrise, dress like a meter maid, or drive a UPS truck.