34 Ways to Talk to a Narcissist: The Narcissist Borderline Relationship Dynamic (Transcend Mediocrity Book 55)

"Many of us try to learn how to communicate throughout our life with other individuals. We think that once we learn communication skills we are set to talk to anyone. This belief is one that is quickly thrown by the wayside once we meet a narcissist whom we want or need to communicate with. Their thought patterns and speech may be much different than anything we’ve ever encountered before. Before we know it, we have upset the narcissist and have gotten on his bad side, which is a very bad place to be.
In Book 1, we detailed the different emotional places that the borderline and her narcissistic lover might come from during their development and in response to their relationships with their caregivers. As children, when we experience the overprotective helicopter parent who idealizes us far too much, the parent whom can never accept the child’s individuality and asks perfection of him, or the cold and emotionally invalidating parent(s) that tell us ‘boys don’t cry’, it disrupts our emotional development during the first 18 years, causing things like narcissism, borderline personality disorder, OCPD, avoidant personality disorder, anti-social personality or conduct disorders, or schizoid personality disorder.
First, I want to give a little back information on the borderline-narcissist relationship duo for those readers who are new to my series and refresh those who have read my other related books. The relationship duo between borderlines and narcissists tend to be more common than we think. There is no true way to get a good picture of how many relationships span this dynamic, as many borderlines and narcissists go undiagnosed or undetected. Most narcissists don’t have the intuition, knowledge of their condition, or interest in their inner world to pursue why they are the way they are. It is unlikely that they would seek treatment because of their over-inflated egos and because their fragile self-esteem wouldn’t tolerate the admittance that they were flawed in some way.
Borderlines, on the other hand, often feel or perceive themselves as being deeply flawed and seek some type of self-help or therapy throughout their life, trying to self-correct. These borderlines are actually simply imperfect human beings who have had a difficult life and been stunted in their own emotional development at the expense of the caregivers around them. Their caregivers were often self-absorbed, emotionally invalidating or neglectful. The borderlines may have experienced physical, sexual or emotional abuse throughout their childhood from their parent(s), and usually continued on to receive this same abuse from their lovers, feeling as if they weren’t worthy of a better relationship."
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