Fifty Shades of Chicken: A Parody in a Cookbook

Featured Recipe: Dripping Thighs

The way his apron hangs from his hips already has me all wobbly. But as he coats my thighs with sticky liquid I can hardly contain myself. Is it the wine, or is my aroma starting to drive him crazy too? He heats me up fast, it won’t take much too?

He heats me up fast, it won’t take much to finish me off now. His lips quirk up to a smile. My own juices are mixing with the coating and running all over the place. I get the strangest, sweetest, hedonistic feeling up and down. It’s epicureanism run wild!

He spreads my thighs out on a plate. Sticky hands and at least five wet napkins. What will the housekeeper think? Who cares?

Ingredients

• 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken thighs, patted dry with paper towels
• 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon plus pinch coarse kosher salt
• ½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1 sweet onion, thinly sliced
• 1 cup white wine
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 cinnamon stick
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1 tablespoon honey

Directions

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. In a large bowl, toss the chicken, garlic, 1 teaspoon salt, and pepper together.

In a small saucepan, simmer together onion, wine, bay leaf, cinnamon stick, and a pinch of salt until most of the liquid has evaporated, 15 to 20 minutes. Toss in the honey and butter.

Spoon the mixture over the chicken and toss well. Spread thighs, onion mixture, and any juices onto a baking sheet. Bake until chicken is no longer pink and onions are meltingly tender and caramelized, about 25 minutes.